Fans of Real Couples will be forgiven for thinking I have quit shooting. This could not be further from the truth.
While I have not filmed any new scenes or couples for a considerable time does not mean I have not been busy doing other things related to the adult industry.
It seems my job has shifted to more behind the scenes activities that need dealing with. Since being elected as chairman of the producers association known as UKAP I have had other little side gigs with being on the panel of Scarlet Ladies Talk with “Grill The Guys” which is a female empowerment group not like the militant radical feminists sort but pro sex, fun and confidence building to women to open up and share discussions with other women about sex and other womanly concerns.
Click here to book tickets to this event
It was such an enjoyable event hosted by Alix Fox that I wondered why blokes didn't have their own similar group. They have another event coming up on April 4th where the girls Fess Up. Normally guys are not allowed to attend but this time they have made an exception as long as the men bring a lady friend as a guest. Click HERE or on the image if you want to book tickets to attend this event. Its a great time for us guys to listen in on the girls and get some tips on how brush on those man skills to tickle their pink. With a bit of luck it might pacify the ladies into being nice come Steak & BJ Day
I was also behind organising a big meeting of adult industry producers, movers and shakers for ascreening at the Sanctum Hotel in Londons Soho for Sexposed a new TV Show/ video magazine style show about the UK adult industry and sexual lifestyles. Watch the Q&A and if you are in the adult business and interested in being featured then email: firstname.lastname@example.org or contact the team via their site www.sexposed.tv The show is looking for all kinds of sexual lifestyles and couples to get involved with this show
PS: The sharp eyed among you might notice Kaz B and Tiffany Morris who are seen in the trailer and the Q&A Kaz has featured on the site a few times over the years
My duties as chairman of UKAP have been time consuming but productive. There is an audio recording of the many things discussed from age verification to safeguarding the adult industry and even about a new film about MindGeek who are at the centre of the age verification process going through Parliament right now. If you are interested to know what we producers at UKAP talk about at these meetings then listen to the audio HERE via my Naked Truth Podcast link on www.itsadult.com
See more pics from the UKAP event party and screening HERE
Be that as it may, Im not going to change the worlds view on this topic but I can offer an alternate view. I was inspired to write about this since I rarely write about relationships beyond my doing shoots when I'm in a prime position to do so based on my experience of hundreds of shoots later. Porn puts me in a good place to observe reality and sex that psychologists often hypothesise about.
A close female friend told me she checked her husbands phone because she feared he was cheating on her and stumbled on his wank bank. Thats youth speak for porn collection of pics on his phone. At first she thought it was the woman he was having an affair with but then quickly deduced by the sheer amount of different women that they must be porn pics from the internet. Obviously he didnt think to passcode his phone. Some blokes are not technically minded to cover up their tracks.
She expressed her relief by saying it was just normal porn he was looking at and nothing weird whatever weird. Just your usual porn stuff with women getting fucked in the ass then. Ok. Cool
I'm aware of the problems arising from porn on a societal level and decided that most of the answers arise from our own moral compass when it comes to this topic, but the worst group are radical feminists and I cant help but feel the reason they are angry is the same reason these women are mad at their men for watching porn too
That reason is freedom. They feel their men are cheating on them because they feel that their partners watching porn is taking the attention away from them. Its an insecurity issue with men and women who feel if their partner is looking somewhere other than them then they will stray and while this is a distinct possibility but if that is going to happen it would happen without the porn anyway.
I knew another relationship with a couple on the site that broke down because he was looking at adult chat sites and was obsessed with that way before the likes of Tinder became the mainstay of dating sites.
Watching porn isnt really the problem if you include dating sites and apps too
From an armchair psychologist point of view a womans insecurity is brought on by the fact she is tired, not feeling sexy because she is busy looking after the kids and home but also there is an understandable jealousy that a man spending time with porn is taking up time he could be spending with her. Nothing infuriates a woman more than seeing someone looking prettier than her or worse if the woman is not as good looking. Its a threat to her and no amount of explaining is going to make it ok and men know that. Thats why they lie about it and do it in secret and the downside of this is guys can feel shameful skulking around hiding their habit like this but it is a necessary evil to a quiet life.Better to live the lie than go through a divorce
My friend heard me explaining all this but she had resolved this within herself already. She knows he hasnt lost interest in her and is even thankful he is using porn as it gives her a break from tending to his needs anyway “but that motherfucker better give up that dick when I need it though”
Modern love eh?
What you got to watch out for is faith based safeguards to avoid temptation. They are not effective with religion considering the biggest users of porn are those who are faith based anyway and for good reason. The sin of being tempted by porn makes it all the more delicious on a subconsious level whereas a normal atheist would find other distractions like mountain climbing or something where their very safety and desire to live requires their full attention. Taking up exercising could make things worse as it boosts your hormones and you are more likely to want more sex anyway, which is great for your partner but if thats the problem then maybe you need to consider if you are so depenent on porn then you are lacking something in your life anyway and should be honest with yourself to reach the conclusion necessary to resolve your problem
Porns not the problem. You are. Be honest about it
Harriet Sugarcookie won for Best Niche/Fetish website
Its been a long time since Ive posted on here and while I think people dont read blogs anymore I always meet with someone who reminds me they used to read it and question if Im still producing Real Couples.
I'm still very much here alive and kicking and still active. Ive been busy in recent months with the UKAP Awards (2016) which is ironic since it was me that wanted to bin the awards much tothe dismay of the association way back in 2014 where they unanimously voted in favour to keep it and ironically I found myself running with a few trusty cohorts to make the event happen and I can tell you the road to organising these events is a logistical marathon of Olympian proportions that maybe one day I might write a book on. I have to admit I have had no skills in this area as I saw others handle it over the years as a casual observer.
The event came around and was a success, much to my relief and this another year was done. I was so busy organising the event that I took myself out of the equation except for the best website which there was no way I was going to win but I put it in for the promotion anyway, hence why it never made the final four on the screen.
You can watch the video and decide for yourself but what I did take particular pride in was the rest of the day with the UKAP meeting followed by the screening and Q&A of Respectable- The Mary Millington Story where we at UKAP awarded Mary Millington the inaugural Legends Of Adult Entertainment Award.
Michelle Thorne won a UKAP Award for Best Web Site
I watched the film many months ago and decided I had to do this film as my 3rd screen outing for The Naked Truth Film Club and met up with the film director to pitch him the idea to do an exclusive screening for the film. Naturally he was apprehensive that such a person representing an adult content producers association would even want a screening but once I answered the question to my motives he was well on board. In fact he was even helpful despite doing the rounds with the film all ready and had his concerns for the amount of work I was taking on to screen this film which was shown in The Prince Charles cinema in Leicester Square the same night as the awards.
It was a physically exhausting day and I was pleasantly surprised that various people orchestrated a secret thank you for me towards the end of the show. i didnt see that coming but when one of the cameras cut to me you can see I was clearly a mix of sozzled on the sauce and exhausted but still trying to hold the camera steady.
Why do I take on so much? Because I fucking love it! Also I want to lead by example and let people know that we can reach new heights in our business if we all muck in all hands on deck to work together. The results of these events have been far reaching and we have already got a film maker on board to shoot a documentary on the adult business. The pilot for Sexposed should be available for screening in December so watch this space for more info about that.
It was great to see Michelle Thorne win for Best Website. I was shocked to find out her DVD was her first award win in 16 years of being in the business according to last years video, so it was nice she won this year considering she is one of the most loved and one of the few biggest names we have in the UK and of course I'm pleased to have had such an enduring career with her as she started out doing her hardcore scenes for me. I can lay claim to being the only producer (or one of the few) who has filmed her with all her men in the past 15 years (which was 3) Can you name them? Answers on a post card please to the usual address 🙂
Fans maybe pleased that its only taken her 16 years to really do hardcore when you consider the work she is doing now with other companies and other men.
I am particularly proud of the Super Sounds Of The 70's compilation I put together to run prior to the awards in tribute to
Simon Sheridan (direcotor) picked up the inaugural award for Mary Millington
Mary Millington to set the mood to someof the music that was popular in her era prior to her death in 1979. If you have seen the film you might understand my enthusiasm as to why I wanted to screen it. In short, when I watched it I was blown away and saddened. Firstly Im a big fan of all things 70's but most importantly I found a film maker who made a film about a person i did not know but could empathise and feel for. Mary was most women I know today in the adult business and it was no coincidence I chose Linsey Dawn McKenzie who pointed out the similarities between them both, even down to the fact their mothers died of cancer and both know David Sullivan who is featured in the film.
You can watch the Q&A which is a regular component of The Naked Truth Film Club where I choose films specifically for the adult industry to engage with the public and media to discuss in the hope of shedding light on from an adult industry perspective. With all thats going on facving the adult business right now I felt transparency is a good thing in the absence of silence met from the porn community over the years that has lead to those with agendas trying to regulate it but thats a whole other topic and why I became more active in recent years.
Ella Hughes won Best Female Performer
I havent stopped producing. Its just I havent shot any new scenes for Real Couples in a while as the industry has changed so much that people are shooting their own content through different platforms that I need to work out where I'm going with the franchise that has given me a living for the past decade. When Ive decided you will know but meanwhile its not as if I dont have plenty to get on with right now and in the future.
If anything I may focus on the lifestyle angle. The chatty format to Real Couples is largely responsible for its appeal so I wont focus on making it so porno but I wont scrimp on the sex and nudity which is also why the site has had a following for years. Lets see where that takes us.
You can check out all the winners and more pictures from the UKAP Awards event at www.ukapawards.com
Looking back over my 10 years filming Real Couples I have to admit to being on a quest to find as many different couples that challenged peoples perception of sexuality where couples are concerned. Just because you dont agree with what a couple do doesnt make it any more our business to criticise. Perhaps thats why they are together and not someone like you (or me) for instance.
In hindsight I never gave much thought to it other than they “would be interesting to film” but there was a time when I even questioned why I filmed things that were deemed questionable.
My interest in people is such that I will not use peoples physical limitations as a reason to not film them just so we are clear in understanding my motives . The cynics among you might think its all down to money. “Roll up Roll up! Come and see the freak show!” If that were so then these occasional dalliances off the beaten track may get new sign ups but rarely are scenes like this seen as a return on investment.
If I didnt make money then I wouldnt be able to produce to make money and pay everyone as all the couples I film are remunerated in exchange for my filming them and owning the content.
People tend to think couples porn is not really porn unless it has a girl doing all things porno with men other than her partner but those who have seen my films over the years will testify that couples porn can be every bit as interesting, stimulating, shocking aand different as the next mans porn. Its just more interesting knowing that couples do it
One of the films I was villified as sick for was a couple where the womans partner is a paraplegic. With a name like Kinky Kerry and being a goth its not surprising that she was with Kiwi living the fetish lifestyle of swinging and porn.
While I accept love can transcend physical disabilities, I was genuinely curious to know how he satisfied his partners needs so it was as much a lesson in learning for me too. In fact, I would say that filming couples has been one broad learning curve for me.
Kinky Kerry and Steve Hooper in Layer Cake
Things became clear to me one day when I brought the soft version of the scene I filmed with Kerry and Kiwi to a TV station where the programme buyer took one look and slammed it as sick! To be fair, it was a bit of a push for a broadcast channel to consider something that would infuriate its viewers and even more so question my motives for why I would exploit such a poor person into having sex with his partner for a video but then I was in their home filming with their permission where they invited me because they wanted me to film them and thats my point.
Kinky Kerrys legs Who knew eh?
Able bodied people take our well being for granted so much that we pity those who are disadvantaged for their physical disabilities and see them as victims. Therefore to imagine them having sex and worse doing porn can only be seen as exploitative because of the “freak factor” in the limitations of our understanding but put yourself in their place for a moment. Every living person on this planet has a right to life and part of being an adult means we have needs to be met, no matter your orientation but we need to feel intimate for our physiological and mental well being.
So why should disabled people be excluded from that? Its also a good case to defend porn but right here and now, the main thing I will leave you with is this, you are entitled to your opinion and prejudices.
If you dont like it then simply look elsewhere is the simple answer…but you wont because curiousity gets the better of most of us who are naturally curious because like a terrible car crash about to happen, we just have to see it with their own eyes. In the event that you do, just bear in mind that it takes all sorts to make this world we live in and here at Real Couples is no exception to that rule.
As a footnote Kinky Kerry was not only in the film Layer Cake being watched at a peep show with fellow porn star Steve Hooper but it was also her legs used in the promo poster.
Ya live and learn eh? I also paid them the going rate I would any other couple too! The only disability going on here is peoples lack of understanding of what it means to be human.
L-R Satine Spark, Lady Andomeda, Misha Mayfair and Linsey Dawn McKenzie
I held a screening event under my Naked Truth Film Club for Cam Girlz recently.
It's the second movie I've screened with a Q&A and the event went as planned.
I had four different webcammers on the Q&A panel to answer webcam related questions. Linsey Dawn McKenzie is a glamour model and veteran of some 20 yeas in the business and now an owner of her own webcam company Hardrive.xxx. Lady Andromeda I regret not having enough time to elaborate on what she meant by “sensual sadist” is also a dominatrix. Satine Spark has been a porn star for years and now a regular webcammer. Misha Mayfair is a university student and advocate of sex workers rights. Their diversity in terms of being webcammers reflect the diversity of the girls in the film. All were there to engage with an audience about their experiences camming and give us an insight into their world where the film left off.
I must admit the producer of Cam Girlzm Sean Dunne crafted a well produced movie that celebrated the girls. It has to be seen on the big screen with an audience to appreciate it fully and the reason I chose this film is that I know many people in the UK adult business wouldnt have seen it so this was as good a time for many to get an education, including me.
Lead panel speaker Linsey Dawn McKenzie & yours truly
Many men, women and couples are camming now. Webcam has democratised and replaced the adult industry landscape so fast that people who do it don't recognise the same problems that face the adult industry and websites are applicable to these rules also.
The final speech by Jerry Barnett ruffled a few people in the audience who thought his doom laden message was a damper on the event. I am not the only one to get on the defensive and think Jerrys making people aware is a good thing. I've waved the flag in support of Jerry for years and credit a lot of advancements and contacts we have as a result of his activism. To understand his fervour, you need to understand that Jerrys company Strictly Broadband was the Netflix of its time was forced to close down when ATVOD over regulated him to the point he couldnt run his business profitably, so he shut down and came back with Sex & Censorship to campaign for free speech and freedom of expression.
We hit a bump in the road with the problems the girls face in the business with the like of PayPal and I even had to intervene with jest when it got a bit too “Girl Powery” but the one thing that struck me from the Q&A was how unaware of basic things like model releases and STD certs or even what is legally allowed and even ownership of content. Things that producers have to be aware of running their business or risk being sued in cases similar to revenge porn cases that make the headlines
How is what producers have been doing for years any different for webcammers who are in effect producers too? Look at Kendra Sunderland the Oregon library girl for example. She knew what she was doing was wrong but did she think she was at risk of a year in jail for what she did in that library? The webcam business has thousands of new people signing up to the various platforms totally unaware of the risks they are letting themselves in for. Other than that the girls all seemed clued up to what they were doing business wise, marketing themselves with creative shows and selling their shows as a brand. I totally admire their independence in this area. I'm just concerned that many are not aware of what it takes to stay on the right side of being legal.
Kendra Sunderland was arrested for public indecency at a public library for her webcam show online.
I got the webcamming rules and one to one sessions behind a payment gateway but people are openly advertising custom clips with extreme acts that deliberately flout the AVMS Regulation(Audio Visual Media Services) to sell with people in they are not getting releases to own the content to sell. This is dangerous on two levels. No formal agreement to sell the content online puts you at risk of being a revenge porn case waiting to happen and secondly, how do you prove age if the date wasnt signed by a model who (woe betide) looks a few years younger than the tender age of 18. As for couples splitting up I have witnessed bitter disputes over who has the rights to content when both appear in it. Men usually lose out by default of the woman filing a complaint with webcam company but still, the point is, why not do things properly in the first place and avoid all that hassle?
This basic lack of knowledge could impact dramatically if someone who bought a custom clip was found in possession of a clip that was in breach of the AVMS regulations. People have already been charged in possession of content on their phone. It's worth paying attention to advice just to stay on the right side of the law. Follow Sex & Censorship. Its free and needs support. Dont wait for something to happen to you before you know where to come for help.
Special thanks to our sponsors for making this event happen
I myself was raided for selling porn in 1998. I was subjected to 27 charges of selling obscene material for gain and to make sure I had no wiggle room had a conspiracy charge slapped on top to securea conviction. I was recommended the best representative at the time who navigated me through my two years from charge to trial at Southwark Crown Court and it's an experience I wouldn't wish on anyone which is why I avidly support those who fight for the freedoms many take for granted these days by advising people to stay on the right side of the law….Oh yeah and pay your taxes too!
I know many have normal day time jobs and get home to kick off their shoes and get in some hours to make a few quid webcamming and doing private shows. It struck me that all these people using these platforms are unaware of the pitfalls. Why would they? They have never been made aware of it being illegal for all the easy to access free porn out there already. People simply are not aware of it and quick to rubbish any claim that is a threat to them and their income and with Brexit very much underway it will not impede what David Cameron has promised with reining the free porn in to protect the kids and evidence to that effect is the Digital Economy Bill being passed this summer as mentioned in the Queens speech about a month ago. With all this commerce online will come new legislation that will restrict adult services that fail to comply
Models who ditched hundreds of hours of content when they were in breach of ATVOD. Even Jerry himself had to close down Strictly Broadband which was the Netflix of its day before PornHub ruled the world with free porn
Unity among SexWorkers is important because it is that one huge voice together supporting the few out there defending us that resulted in multiple victories on appeal and of course the decriminalising of sex work. None of this would have happened if the people behind the scenes had not fought for it.
Unfortunately, not a lot of webcammers know this and after the Q&A there were discussions in having a forum where webcammers can meet and network every few months. The benefit of this is the guests most likely to attend these events will only be there f there is an audicene to talk to. If there sn then people wil make their rules and regulations without us at the table.
UKAP has forged links with all kinds of people from age verification vendors, credit card payment processors, clinics, lawyers, activists, campaigners, accountants and even (until recently) the government.
There is so much more achieved with face to face sit down meetings than posting on a forum. The best thing that came out of that screening was the desire to keep the dialogue going and this is the way towards progress in the future.
We know couples do things for themselves but occasionally it would be good for you to stay on top of your game by networking with others.
Out on your own you are more likely to get targeted by those like ATVOD who relied on people wanting to be legally compliant. They chalked up every shut down as a win. Now they are closed down and powers reverted to OFCOM it's worth noting that things are going to become more challenging.
If you don't know the rules how are you going to play the game?
Here's an opportunity that webcammers shouldnt miss out on. Especially if you are a couple doing your own webcam shows. Everyone is at it now but does everyone know whats involved with doing it?
Everything you ever wanted to know will be revealed about webcamming during our Q&A after the screening with women who are experts in the field of webcamming. The film Cam Girlz follows several different stories that offer a varied look at the fastest growing phenomenon in the adult industry to provide women with financial independence beyond traditional sex work and the video production industry. Its because of this that various issues have made this event significant to inform with what it takes to stay safe and legal on the internet for those who may not be aware
Cam Girls is being screened at the Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square at 6pm on 16th June by The Naked Truth Film Club. The special part of this event is the Q&A with panel speakers Linsey Dawn McKenzie, who is a veteran of the adult glamour community for over 20 years and even runs her own webcam business HardDrive.XXXMisha Mayfair who is a university student sex worker and activist for sex workers rights, Satine Spark who is a webcammer and porn star Lady Andromeda is a dominatrix who describes herself as a “sensual sadist” will talk all things related to the webcam experience as seen in the film and beyond .
Guests in the audience will be on hand to field legal and social issue questions with luminaries, Jerry Barnett(author of the upcoming Porn Panic
If you are not in the adult industry you need to buy a ticket and request to get on the guest list. for this party
book) Award winning First Lady Of Sex and Sex Workers Opera Star Charlotte Rose, Feminist Porn Producer and activist Pandora Blake and of course “The Batman of Porn” lawyer to the sex worker community extraordinaire, Myles Jackman who has defended many and won many cases for the adult industry, sex workers and LGBTQ rights.
The event will be filmed like our first screening The UnSlut Project and made available for those seeking an adult industry viewpoint on the various topics we will cover with events like this. You can buy tickets by clicking on the Cam Girlz image above but the best part of this is the party at Platinum Lace to launch The Girls Of Mayfair magazine from Paul Raymond. If you want to attend this event then you need to buy a ticket and email: email@example.com to get on the guest list. Spaces are limited so get in now to avoid disappointment.
The events sponsors AdultWork.com, Pay4xxx, XCreds and TM Productions have free tickets for those woking in the adult industry wanting to attend. All you need to do is email: firstname.lastname@example.org Tickets are limited so get in quick to avoid disappointment.
Click anywhere on artwork to get tickets to this event
In case you haven't heard already, I am behind organising the London screening of a documentary called The UnSlut Project next week Thursday at The Prince Charles Cinema in Leicester Square.
The project came about as I was getting more involved with the actvism aspect of the adult business and saw a void that needed filling where the adult business was under attack with very few people interested in openly defending it.
The film directed by Emily Lindin deals with the topic of slut shaming and sexual bullyng which I feel resonates with the sex workerncommunity as much as it does with civilians like Emily Lindin who was inspired to make this film from her own experience of it when she was 14.
Bullying is a terrible thing to a young person growing up, especially young ondividual discovering their own sexuality at a difficult time of their lives without the experience of understanding the emotions that effect the way they see themselves.
I feel very strongly about this fim which is why I chose it for my inaugural screening in what I hope will be a quarterly event using films and documentaries as a base to engage an audience in discussion so that we can move forward than stay stuck in stasis to repeat the same argument over again. This is a recurring pattern and why porn debates put me to sleep.
It is perhaps this reason why I called myself The Naked Truth Film Club since in essence the truth is what I would like to see behind these discussions to weigh up if porn is morally right or wrong. To date it has all been down to personal choice and consent which seems to be lost on those who have an agenda to shut it down.
The screening is followed by a Q&A which I am filming as part of the event as a resource and record of the event. The speakers will be Myles Jackman (Obscenity lawyer oft thought of as The Batman of porn given his success defending clients) Jerry Barnett (Sex & Censorship) Pandora Blake (feminist pornographer) Charlotte Rose (Sexual Freedom Campaigner) and Laura Renvoize (Advocate of Sexworkers at Goldsmiths University)
You can read more about Emily Lindin behind the making of this documentary here. There will be other stars of the adult entertainment business in attendance that day too. Ava Koxxx will be there to sign her book “Tales From Miss Hollywood” and Anastasia Luxx, Tiffany Morris (who was featured on Real Couples some years ago) and others. I must also thank AdultWork.com, Pay4xxx, XCreds, and the producers association UKAP for backing the brunt of the cost to make this event possible and I hope that many of you can support this with donations to see it go on beyond the day as I am already in discussions with other film makers to host their films as events in future. Hopefully I will see you next Thursday afternoon
I had a big hand in the recent UKAP Awards 2015 held at Proud Cabaret City on 16th September just around the corner from XBiz London at The Hilton Double Tree in Tower Hill, London, which was convenient because they held a 4 day convention there of which the UKAP (UK Adult Producers) Awards party was its second day event for a night of fun and entertainment with The Sex Workers Opera providing the entertainment before the show.
As for the show itself, here it is. It's the next best thing to being there on the night. I didnt win anything but it was nice to see couples there that have featured on the site. If you want to know more about the nominees and winners, podcasts etc then go to www.ukapawards.com